Bagame

Went to post and realized this never got posted for some reason. So quite late here it is...

So much has happened since I last blogged I have been advised the only way to tackle this is to just write snapshots if you will of various times that stand out as they come to mind regardless of time sequencing.

So…

A little background. Evan came to Papua New Guinea for the first time in 2004. He went through the Pacific Orientation Course in Madang as all new Wycliffe people do. But, since he was only with Wycliffe Associates are not required to do the full 14 week course, but only a 6 week course. However, Evan wanted to do the 14-week course, which he did. The full course includes a 5 week stay in a village in the area. This helps the participate to learn Melanesian pidgin (the trade language) and to gain a better understanding of the culture and people of Papua New Guinea. Over 80% of the population lives in villages. The village Evan was allocated to a place called Bagame. It is basically a village made up of members of one family and their spouses and children.

At that time one of the sons, Charlie, as single and close in age to Evan, so Evan lived with him. Through Evan’s willingness to work, participate, learn and laugh he became a part of their family. When he left after 5 weeks they held a traditional sing-sing to say goodbye.

A sing-sing is similar to a luau. There is a large feast, dancing, singing, story-telling…in short it is a great time. At this sing-sing Charlie wrote a song for Evan and they cried and said goodbye as if they would never see him again.

Evan stayed in PNG for another year and then returned to the US with the intention of returning as soon as possible. He then met me…fast-forward about 9 years.

We have returned as a family to Papua New Guinea. During our time in America Evan has talked about returning “home” and wanting to reconnect with all the people who loved him and he loved. Since I am new to the country we are going through the POC course again as a family. Evan is there primarily as a help to me, but learns a lot too. When it comes time for our village assignments we both talk about how neat it would be if we ended up being close to his old host family village (Bagame) so we could visit. We get assigned, drumroll….a village a mere 2 miles down the road from Bagame! One week before we go, Evan is in town gathering supplies, and runs into Charlie. He is able to tell him that he and his family are going to be in a near-by village next week and Charlie is so happy he says when we can to send a message to them that we are coming to visit and they will have a sing-sing for us.

So, the day we go to our village assignment, we stop at the last place before ours to drop off some other students. Waiting there is an older woman who turns out to Charlie’s mom (Evan’s wasmama) she see’s Evan and instantly recognizes him, despite it being almost 10 years  and Evan’s hair (both head and facial) being different and starts to cry. She hugs him tightly, and then when she is introduced to me she says “pikinini bilong mi!” (my child) and hugs me and kisses me. She then turns to the boys and calls them booboos (slang for grandchildren or grandparent). She takes Julien into her lap (he is asleep) and carries him the rest of the drive to our village. Hugging me the whole time too.

Fast forward a couple of weeks and we are planning to go to Bagame. However, plans change when I come down with Dengue fever and Julien becomes ill again (some of you know his saga of being ill while at POC) and it is decided the two of us must be taken out of the village to recoup. Evan and Liam go anyway, have a wonderful time but are asked to come again when I am back and well as they are disappointed I and Julien are not there. Evan and Liam are bilas-ed. (decorated). Liam gained the nickname “muscleman” because of his habit of walking as if he had large muscles emulating super-heros. They let him play the kundu drum and he danced like a madman making everyone laugh with joy.

When I returned about a week later, we went again. This time we were told it was a celebration for me, as it was the first time I visited.  

As we walked up the road the family came out and ushered us to the “front entrance” of the village where they had hung flowers and they sang and danced a welcoming song that Charlie had written.

Then after we had rested and eaten a little and drank kulaus (green coconuts) I was ceremonially painted and dressed in traditional costume. Charlie’s wife Joyce gave me a shirt that was hers so that I would always remember her. She had me take off my top and put it on which was interesting. She didn’t even blink with all the men standing around asking me to strip to my bra. Of course she was wearing nothing on top BUT her bra so I guess it’s all relative J.

Then she and other ladies there taught me some dances. Evan got video. I look pretty silly but we were laughing and having a great time. Joyce called me her sister and that I was to go back to America and tell them all about her, my “crazy PNG sister Joyce”. We were also given two bilums made from natural fibers and the grass skirt (purpur) that I wore, made especially for me by the mama. Also, Liam was given all the shell and boar’s teeth bilas he was wearing and the malu (men’s ceremonial loincloth) he was wearing. Then we had a feast.

Joyce, Charlie and their daughter walked us most of the way back to our village. When they turned back their daughter cried and cried for us.

Joyce and Charlie's daughter with Liam

Me and Joyce dancing, Charlie is in the background

And then when were being picked up to return to the training center wasmama, Joyce, Charlie and their daughter all came to say goodbye. Mama cried again and hugged us like she would never see us again. We have promised to return and visit when we can.  

Living with transition and letting go of Chiang Mai

A year ago Evan and I went to a visiting member care (ie counseling, respite, anything related to helping missionaries live and not have breakdowns or burnouts) ministers Jocelyn and Stephen Head to talk about the year and how it has affected our family. During the course of our conversation we came to realize that this last year or even the last two years haven’t been our only examples of transition in our lives.

Basically, as Stephen and Jocelyn pointed out, we have been in an almost constant state of transition for the past 6 years (our entire marriage). The very fact of us getting married is a point of transition. We went from living apart to living together, we moved to a different town, I was no longer in school, no longer had a job (and continued to not have one for over a year)…then we moved into our first home, had our first child, were accepted into Wycliffe Membership, began fundraising, went to various trainings, had another child, went to more trainings, grandparents passed away (two of mine within months of us leaving to come to PNG), had to sign our house back to the bank, lived with friends, the list goes on and on and that is BEFORE coming here.

Since that time we have continued to go through transitions. Everyone experiences transitions; perhaps we all think ours are the most acute. Constant adjustment is the lot of missionaries. However, just because something is always present, doesn’t mean it is always easy to deal with. 

As parents of Missionary Kids (MKs), watching out for your children’s mental, emotional and spiritual well-being trumps looking after your own.

Evan started his manager position back in April. This was quite a change for us.  Additionally, in the last few months we have had a few partners drop financial support. We are also anticipating some more discontinuing as we finish our term here in Papua New Guinea. Every month we are very close to the line being able to pay our fixed expenses or not. To that end, we have tightened our belts as much as we can. Frankly, some days I feel like an Edwardian lady. Never mind SAVING for anything. Hence, the appeal for the money for Evan to go to Thailand for the training. As I have been really trying to focus on making sure the family, especially the kids are okay, I am doing a bull-dozer of a job over my own life. And probably not always being as kind and patient as I should be.

A few days ago I realized I was waking up every morning with my jaw tightly clenched. This is something that started doing when overly stressed when we were still in the US. Most of the time during the day I am aware enough to keep my teeth a little apart so I don’t clench. But when I am sleeping I can’t control it. I realized in doing some journaling (something I don’t do often but when I do it usually helps to clarify and organize my thoughts and feelings) that morning, that it wasn’t just our monthly money woes causing me to clench my jaw. It was also me dealing with the idea of letting go of being able to travel with Evan to Thailand. Because, let’s face it, $3,500 is a LOT easier to come up with than $8,500. At least in human terms, I fully acknowledge anything can be accomplished if God wills it.

Ultimately, the training is for Evan and I don’t NEED to go.

I do WANT to go. Our friends the Cheeseman’s are there and it would be great to see them again, who DOESN’T want to visit Malaysia and Thailand, I would be able to get yummy take-out food on weekends and during the week someone else would be cooking for three weeks, and I would be able to process leaving PNG and re-entering America BEFORE I get there. I have discovered through various comings and goings over the last couple of years, I am a “post-griever”. Meaning I get through events and transitions, leave places and THEN I cry and process through.

ANYWAY, the point is, I came to the realization that perhaps God is going to use this as another molding experience. An experience where I have to let go of the hurt and jealousy over Evan being able to go to Thailand and I having to stay in Ukarumpa for almost four weeks (4 days to travel there and 3 weeks of training) on my own with the kids. Processing on my own in the midst of it all.

I always thought I was destined to be a wife and mom. I guess I never really thought about WHERE I would be doing those things. I guess I thought it wouldn’t matter, but as I have lived here and felt over and over a failure at the things I thought I was supposed to just be able to gracefully do (since I was called to be this right?) I have come to realize I had set expectations for how it was supposed to be and how it was all supposed to look and that is just not possible, for me, here. Solo travel, other family members taking care of the kids for the day or weekend, eating out, take-away, expendable income....to name a few things that I must have unconsciously thought would always be a part of my life, and they aren’t going to be. And, well, I just have to get over it. And it will take some time and some hurting from all the stretching and letting go, but I am beginning to accept and adjust my expectations. I have spent so long here going from crisis to crisis and transition to transition I haven’t really had the time to fully process through what is hindering me and hurting my family. And what I need to do and ask for, to help me.  But I am starting to understand now; growing in God and in life. Ultimately, I think I will be able to finish well our first term here and I am already looking forward to our return more than a year away. And for that I am happy and content.

A year ago...

A year ago we were saying our last goodbyes and stepping onto a plane into the unknown. Since that day we have experienced, endured, loved, been loved and expanded our understanding of God, some of His people, and parts of His world.

This past year:

·         *We spent a few days of restful vacation in Fiji after the whirlwind of leaving America and before we started the adventure that has been our life in Papua New Guinea thus far.

·         *Landed in Papua New Guinea, the land of the unexpected, and began to unpack and settle into our roles.

·         We were asked to delay our POC (Pacific Orientation Course) training from August when we expected to participate, to the next course in January because of the Auto Shop’s great need for Evan.

·         *Evan went on two vehicle rescues, spent a week of late nights repairing a bridge, flew out to the Western Provence to repair an airstrip lawn mower and repaired many items that only he had the skill to repair (as the only welder in the shop) in the first month. In short our family experienced first-hand how vital our role is here.

·         *Experienced giardiasis for the first time (Liz)

·         *We had to readjust expectations for what could be reasonably  accomplished in a day when we are reliant on solar clothes drying, solar water heating, and we must bleach all produce,  make many of our foods from scratch (including bread and yogurt)

·        * We had the fact reiterated that drinkable water is precious (especially when your only source is a tank collecting rainwater off the roof).

·         *We had to readjust our planning strategies as we learned that stores (even in town – which we have to hitch a ride to as we have no car of our own) are closed on weekends and holidays (including the Queen’s Birthday and 14 days at Christmastime(our store only for the latter of these))

·         *Learned to cook things we still only know as Kumu (greens) and other things we still don’t the name of.

·       *We made friends with people from all over the world

·       *  Evan participated in a weekly Bible Study in one of the neighboring villages

·         *Liz began work at the Secondary school library

·         *We moved again as we purchased a house that now Liam (and the rest of us too) refers to as his home.

·         *We had our first Thanksgiving away from our family with friends who have become our second family

·         *We had our first Christmas via Skype

·        * We learned a second language – Melanesian pidgin (tok pisin) (still a work in progress)

·         *Spent 14 weeks at POC (5 of which we spent in a village) learning to expand our understandings and our limits.

·        * Evan returned as a son after 9 years to his host family in Bagame village where Liz and the boys were welcomed as family as well.

·         *We’ve flown in small aircraft and ridden in PMV’s (Public Motor Vehicles) that sometimes are just the back of a pickup truck

·         *Swam 1 mile (Evan) and ½ mile (Liz) in the ocean

·         *Danced with a cockatoo

·         *Walked a piglet (Liam and Julien)

·         *Washed clothes and dishes in a river

·         *Liz carried firewood on her head

·         *Liz danced at a sing-sing (traditional celebration)

·         *Julien experienced malaria, ear infections, giardiasis, severe eye allergies, and pneumonia and nearly being medivaced all while at our training in Madang.

·         *Liz contracted Dengue fever

·         *Liam became potty-trained in the village

·         *We returned back to Ukarumpa and back to our home where the boys continue to thrive

·         *We have enjoyed eating different foods (crocodile, fish eyeballs (well, not all of us enjoyed that one), squid, rambutans, cocoa beans straight from the tree, and cooking bananas to name a few)

·           *And so many other things that we can’t list them all…it’s been quite the ride and we are still going!

Things we are looking forward to this year:

* Liam starting preschool

*Liz possibly beginning some part-time work with the literacy department

*Evan training a new welding intern

*Welcoming two new members to the autoshop team (including another welder named Evan!)

*Liz's parents hopefully coming for a visit next May

Family life.

As I type this we are having a "tropical downpour". We are happy that we have been having a very generous Dry Season.

It has been very hot for many days but we have had rain in the late afternoons on some days. It is an amazing reminder of God's power to watch the rain sweep down, hearing thunder and watching the clouds illuminated with lightening.

Yesterday Evan and I went on a ride into the hills around Ukarumpa. It was a warm day and beautiful. I loved going through the villages. It sort of felt like we were in a parade or celebraties. All the kids in any given village could hear us coming and would come running to the road. They would shout and wave and try to get high fives as we passed.

It was a lovely ride, though I am a bit sore. There was only about 2 miles or something of paved road, the rest ranged from gravely dirt to mud pit. I am grateful to have a strong husband who can carry me on the back of his bike through the majority of the terrain. I only had to walk two or three places. Bridges that were just few planks for instance. :)

The boys in the meantime had a good time with the babysitter. Miss Alice. She is a national woman who has worked at SIL for many, many years. She works at the preschool during the week, but she is free on the weekends and seveal of my friends use her. She had the boys playing and laughing before we were even out of the driveway. Next weekend we will use her services again as Friday is my birthday, Saturday evening we are having a dessert party with some friends.

Friday we are hoping to go into Kainantu. One of the local towns. It will be the first time leaving the boys in the day care here. But the ladies are very experienced and I am confident the boys will have a good time. And when the day care ends at lunch our friend Mandy will pick them up. We will hopefully be back in time for naptime! It will be my first PMV ride (the public transport).

Many friends in the states are getting married, having babies and going through many life changes that it makes me a little sad to not be there. But then I look at my boys, and see how happy they are here (though Liam did get a bit sad after skyping with grandparents today - he wanted them to come here).  And I love what we are doing and the people. I love my house and my friends. It is right for us to be here, but we are planning on things we will do when we come home on furlough.

I am looking forward to and sort of dreading the holidays. My mom pointed out to me the other day it is first birthday I have been away from home since almost 10 years ago, when I was in University in New York.

It will be the first Thanksgiving apart since we went to the south when Evan and I went to visit friends the first year we were married. And we have NEVER been apart for Christmas. I plan to take lots of video.

But I am REALLY looking forward to the decorating, parties and fun that comes with the holidays with all our new friends and family. We will also be that much closer to POC training!

I have added lots of new pictures to the flickr photostream. Here is the Link. The ability to be outdoors has been tremendous for the boys. We recently aquired a sprinkler, though the only chance we have had to use it Liam was the only one awake thus there are just pictures of him. But they are great, if I do say so myself.

I guess I will end on that note. Please send your comments or questions. I am sorry to those who commented on the last posts. I didn't realize I wasn't getting notices for when people comment. I have remedied that.

Keep the e-mails and letters coming!

John 5 and beyond...

I found this unfinished blog post from a couple of months ago when I was looking for the unfinished portions of the postings I just made and thought I would post it too, with my additions to finish it with more recent events.

*****

This week I am so grateful for two teenagers who are our weekly babysitters as without them I would have not received the profound word I did at our Bible Study. We were discussing John 5:1-15. For those who are not familiar here is the extract for those who are familiar you can skip to the next part (but you may want to read it anyway):

John 5:1-15

1 Some time later, Jesus went up to Jerusalem for one of the Jewish festivals. ² Now there is in Jerusalem near the Sheep Gate a pool, which in Aramaic is called Bethesda^[a] and which is surrounded by five covered colonnades. ³ Here a great number of disabled people used to lie—the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. ^{[4] [b] 5} One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. ⁶ When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”

⁷ “Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”

⁸ Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” ⁹ At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.The day on which this took place was a Sabbath, ¹⁰ and so the Jewish leaders said to the man who had been healed, “It is the Sabbath; the law forbids you to carry your mat.”

¹¹ But he replied, “The man who made me well said to me, ‘Pick up your mat and walk.’ ”

¹² So they asked him, “Who is this fellow who told you to pick it up and walk?”

¹³ The man who was healed had no idea who it was, for Jesus had slipped away into the crowd that was there.

¹⁴ Later Jesus found him at the temple and said to him, “See, you are well again. Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you.” ¹⁵ The man went away and told the Jewish leaders that it was Jesus who had made him well.

There was so much that we discussed (I really like our Bible Study group.). But one of the biggest things that stood out to me was when our leader for that study asked the question: “What does Jesus’command ‘Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.’ mean to you?” We talked about it in somewhat general terms first. General as in we all had thoughts about it pertaining to us as missionaries taking ourselves up and out of our lives in our countries of origin. Literally moving our stuff (our mats) and walking out into the wider world. We talked about how this man in doing what Jesus told him probably was stepping into a world that he knew little if anything about as he had spent almost 40 years (perhaps his whole life?) in one spot.

Then we got more specific. We each have big and little examples of this. Our leader said that he viewed it in his own life at times like God was saying to get over yourself and just do what you are suppose to do. We also thought it applied to our specific roles as missionaries. In what ways was Jesus’command directed at us?

For me it is being willing to let other things go to be there and engaged with my family. It also means engaging in the community with other ladies so I can be a support to them as they are to me.

And other things...but sometimes commands are personal. :)

*As I said this was written a couple of months ago. In our Bible Study we are currently in John 8. This week I am leading, the first time in a VERY long time that I have done that. The section I have selected in John 8:12-30. I have been spending some time reading over that passage and making notes and It has been a really great experience, even though it has been hard. It has also been a lesson in not comparing myself to others.

You see, the other members of our Bible Study have a lot more experience than I do, through age, more schooling, or just this seemingly natural ability to absorb the Word and lead conversation well. I am trusting God to speak through me, and it is not my abilities but Him working through me this Wednesday.

I don't know if any of this will be important to anyone out there in the 'verse. But I am putting it out there because it is an important part of our lives and I want to share it with everyone.

Blog Post Part Deux: "Hevi" Days

As I said in my last entry, we have experienced darkness here too. There have been battles with battles of sickness, fatigue, loneliness, homesickness, rebellion… many tools of Satan have been tried against us. And for a time some have worked, but God has always prevailed. And He will ALWAYS prevail.

We, well, I, a, currently experiencing another bout of homesickness (another reason I am grateful to have our Bible Study – I know they – as well as you out there – are praying for us). Also, there has been a series of events recently that weigh heavily on me. Which I think is one reason why I am up writing this.

First, two black dogs, owned by SIL members, have disappeared and now are most assuredly dead. Black dogs are especially feared by the nationals here as they are associated with magic. However, while under normal circumstances black dogs would be avoided at all costs, they are occasionally procured, sacrificed, and eaten as part of a spiritual ceremony when the village "spirit man" wishes to perform a spell that is particularly strong and/or bad.

It is believed this is what happened as it was later reported the dogs were seen being "greased" – which means being given food and being made friends with by nationals. And, these dogs would have to be taken off their chains and made to follow.

I think I am particularly disturbed by this as not only am I a dog lover, but I knew both of these dogs. One, I had walked him for nearly a month not long after we arrived here for the family who were caring for him. His name was Buka (boo-ka) and he was an incredibly sweet lab. The other was named Shadow and he was a sweet dog when he wanted to be. He was strong and very protective of his family.

Two days ago there wa a road accident on the highway between here and Goroka. I cannot give many details here, but the main thing is that because of this accident which had several fatalities SIL members are advised not to travel to Goroka.

Finally, a little girl aged six years, has passed away in Tairora village. This village is on the edge of Ukarumpa. The little girl was somehow related to our yard man, Mattias. Kinship ties are sometimes fuzzy. One thing I know for sure is that Mattias is greatly saddened by the girl's death. His own young daughter used to play with her he told me. He is a gentle man who loves children, including my boys and I could see today in his eyes the sorrow. It broke my heart.

As I lay tossing and turning not knowing why, I finally realized that not only am I affected so because I am a mother, but it reminded me of so many emotions I felt when my niece, Charlotte, passed away. All these deep wounds that never quite heal over. It makes me ache. I want to put my arms around the family of this girl I don't know the name of and cry with them. It also makes me want to see my family.

It is events like these that make me want to leave and yet, it is because of events like these that motivate me to stay. Without the light of God's Word, His love continuing to press in to this country, to these beloved people, their lives would be so many sorrows with no hope for light at the end of the tunnel.

Our neighbors, Mandy and Ben, are translators in the Sepik (a region down on the coast). About 10 years ago or so, there was a tsunami in the area the work. It devasted the coastline, sweeping out to sea forever about 50% of the villagers living there. Those who were left moved in-land. They had the Bible that had been translated into their heart language. When the tribes in-land saw this, they said - "We want this too." and it was the start of what Wycliffe calls a "cluster project". Related languages are brought together to work together and produce Bible translations faster.

Out of great tragedy can come great triumph. Like the pheonix bird.

I don't know what will come of these recent events. But I hope you will pray with me that God will be glorified in it. That comfort, peace and joy will break through.

So long, so late...

I have been trying to blog for the months we have been here. Every time I sit to write I am stymied. Overwhelmed by it all and find I can only write stilted sentences which I have no mind to publish to the web. So, finally, here we are; four months here and the 2nd blog entry.



*Side note: It has been about two weeks since I started writing this and the following blog. I am hoping to follow these two with at least one more current entry.



What finally prompted and/or enabled me? I don’t know. But I lay awake last night ---early this morning, I knew sleep would not come until I let something out. So, upstairs I went to jot down my thoughts on paper. No computer at the moment. To be typed when I could and sent when I could.



In brief here are some things that have happened, have profoundly affected me, or just propelled our family forward one way or another.



1. Moving to Papua New Guinea. The Boys flopped back and forth between being astoundingly adjusted being totally and legitimately overwhelmed. As I was. I responded by getting a bit over my head in work. Stepped back and tried to be the mom and wife I am called to be. It has been going much better since then.



2. Joining a Bible Study. It is the first Bible Study we have been in together since we were married (not including Sunday morning study). Both Evan and I have been blessed beyond measure by our friends within this Wednesday night group (and outside the group, but that’s another story) and I think I will be forever grateful to Michelle and Jim for inviting us to join. The group has been a rock in so many ways for us.



3. Our friends. In Bible Study and out we have enjoyed the benefits of a close-knit community. We have met and begun to cultivate friendships with so many interesting and Godly people. We are joyful to God for this. Our newest friendship is with our new neighbors since we moved into our very own home a few weeks ago. Having them be who they are is surely Providence. It has been such a wonderful thing to have playmates for the boys; including a caring "big brother" for Liam. To have a fellow mom who lets me come and relax in her house and chat is great too! Mandy has shown true hospitality to me and has been a great support. I hope I have been the same to her even in small way.
Generosity of spirit is evident in many of our friends. From borrowing appliances, to borrowed time on a computer, to watching our kids, we have been provided for. We love the friends we have here in Ukarumpa.

4. My job. I work at the High School Library two shifts a week. It has allowed me to keep loving me job at home. Plus, it has been fun! It is an interesting and uplifting experience working with kids who for the most part are polite, respectful, kind, and make me laugh. I also have enjoyed getting to know the other ladies I work with (albeit mostly through our notebook of communiques).

I am allowed creativity on the table displays, coming up with ways to engage the students with reading. And I have access to free books! Who could ask for anything more?

A recent 6th grade research project allowed me to get a glimpse into what teaching could be like here and it excited me! But for now I am content being aide to the students in the library.

5. Our new house. I already mentioned the blessing on one of our new neighbors. We are also so happy to have friends on the other side as well as just over the hill (a two minute walk across a playground from out house) to even more friends! The freedom from mesquitos here on the hill with delicious breezes has been a welcome relief. Though we have to stay more on top of Liam’s grass allergies and such as he spends most of the time out of doors and it is quite a walk anywhere; we are so happy to have a place of our own where the boys can feel secure and settled. Us too! We really feel God choose this house for us.

We had a wonderful Saturday recently where friends came and filled our home with joy, laughter, prayers and good food! Now the last step is finally getting all our crates delivered and unpacked. I am hoping the last of this will happen before Thanksgiving.

Of course living here has not been all sunshine and love. I have decided to create a second blog entry to continue this – As this one is already quite long.