Well, Liam will be 1 month tomorrow. Amazing how fast and yet how slowly life has gone by since he was born. I have been doing my best to be a good mommy and I think I have done a pretty good job so far.
He went in for his first checkup and he was up to 7 lbs. 7 oz. which is great. It makes me happy to know he is definately getting enough to eat. I am also feeling pretty good myself as he has slept pretty solidly the last two nights. Which means he only woke up 2-3 times between 10 PM and 5 AM. I am happy about that.
Liam is a very good baby, he doesn't really fuss unless he really needs something and it doesn't take much to figure out what he needs. I still am often struck with how sereal the whole thing is though. I can't believe I am a mom, that he is really my baby and this is life now. I go between being totally content and sort of a panic. I am a mom now and all of my decisions and actions are based on this fact. I have to think about him before doing anything.
However because he is such a good baby I can go anywhere with him...I am going to a bridal shower today for instance and I don't have any issues with bringing the boy along...
Uh-oh I hear him starting to cry so I better go check on him.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Recovering...
SO...
It's been a real long time. For a while I just stopped because there was nothing to write but that I was still pregnant and not very happy about it.
On Mother's Day I went into labor. I started having contractions in the morning but didn't really pay much attention because I had been having all those pre-labor contractions before without them doing jack. By the end of church though they were getting stronger and seemed to be have a peak and ebb. So after lunch I started timing them.
I timed them for an hour and they were between 8 and 6 minutes apart and lasting about a minute long. So we decided to go into the birthing center and get checked to see if anything was happening. Much to my surprise I was 60% effaced and 1 centimeter dilated. I was pretty cynical at that point that I was ever going to actually go into labor. They left it up to me as to whether I wanted to go home and labor for a while there or get admitted. Since I couldn't eat or anything after I got admitted and they didn't know how long it was going to take for me progress I decided to go home.
Well, we went home and had dinner but I just was getting more and more uncomfortable. I tried laying down. leaning over the bed with my back against the wall, but not much was helping to ease the pain. Only about an hour had past but the contractions started coming a lot faster (between 5 and 3 minutes) and they didn't ever really go away. Someone told me that in between contractions you feel like you can play basketball, but that never happened. We decided to go back because I didn't think I could go much more before I would be super uncomfortable for even the short 10 minute car ride. When we got there they checked me again and said that was almost to three centimeters and again it was up to me whether I wanted to be admitted. I kind of was surprised at that considering it had only been an hour. But I guess some women stay at 2 centimeters for a long time.
I decided that I wanted to stay at the hospital. My parents showed up and Keauri came down from Vernonia. I progressed quickly from 3 to 6 in about 2 hours and the from 6 to complete in about 2 hours. The labor was very intense and barely gave me time to rest. I can't believe those stories about women who SLEEP between contractions. I barely had time to relax my body. I tried using the soaking tub and the shower. Evan as super supportive as well as my parents and Keauri. The only time Evan left or had to take a break was when he got light-headed from trying to help me breath and when the put in my epidural.
I was really surprised my dad stayed through the whole thing. The only time he left was when I was getting into a new gown after the bath and shower and when I was getting my cervix checked. I threw up several times throughout. I guess that was just the way things were going to be, vomit at the beginning and at the end.
Sometime in-between 6 and 10 centimeters I decided I needed an epidural. I had tried the IV pain killer and that hadn't really done much. If I had known how long it was going to take to get everything ready I would have asked for one sooner. It took about a 1/2 hour to push the IV fluids and get Dr. Demaster there and set up. Just as he was finishing up I felt the urge to push so they checked me again and I was complete. But Dr. Neeld decided to let me rest for a while before backing off the meds and letting me push. That was good because it would have taken a lot longer if he hadn't let me do that. After I started I pushed for about 20 minutes and there he was! My beautiful boy!
Now we are home and it has been interesting. On Tuesday night, the first night at home I had a bit of a breakdown. But Evan and Keauri were here and helped and now we are doing okay. I am still learning how to breast-feed right and we are trying to get him to sleep more at night and less during the day. Last night was an experience. We had a bat fly into our room. I think the cat caught it and brought it in and then let it go. Evan got it out the back door early this morning when he got up for work.
He has been growing and changing so much and he is only about 2 weeks old! Evan is going to take next week off as a friend from out of state is coming in for a visit. It will be lots of fun! But I hear Liam getting ready to wake up so I should go and see if he is hungry. Also, fix myself some lunch while I have the chance.
It's been a real long time. For a while I just stopped because there was nothing to write but that I was still pregnant and not very happy about it.
On Mother's Day I went into labor. I started having contractions in the morning but didn't really pay much attention because I had been having all those pre-labor contractions before without them doing jack. By the end of church though they were getting stronger and seemed to be have a peak and ebb. So after lunch I started timing them.
I timed them for an hour and they were between 8 and 6 minutes apart and lasting about a minute long. So we decided to go into the birthing center and get checked to see if anything was happening. Much to my surprise I was 60% effaced and 1 centimeter dilated. I was pretty cynical at that point that I was ever going to actually go into labor. They left it up to me as to whether I wanted to go home and labor for a while there or get admitted. Since I couldn't eat or anything after I got admitted and they didn't know how long it was going to take for me progress I decided to go home.
Well, we went home and had dinner but I just was getting more and more uncomfortable. I tried laying down. leaning over the bed with my back against the wall, but not much was helping to ease the pain. Only about an hour had past but the contractions started coming a lot faster (between 5 and 3 minutes) and they didn't ever really go away. Someone told me that in between contractions you feel like you can play basketball, but that never happened. We decided to go back because I didn't think I could go much more before I would be super uncomfortable for even the short 10 minute car ride. When we got there they checked me again and said that was almost to three centimeters and again it was up to me whether I wanted to be admitted. I kind of was surprised at that considering it had only been an hour. But I guess some women stay at 2 centimeters for a long time.
I decided that I wanted to stay at the hospital. My parents showed up and Keauri came down from Vernonia. I progressed quickly from 3 to 6 in about 2 hours and the from 6 to complete in about 2 hours. The labor was very intense and barely gave me time to rest. I can't believe those stories about women who SLEEP between contractions. I barely had time to relax my body. I tried using the soaking tub and the shower. Evan as super supportive as well as my parents and Keauri. The only time Evan left or had to take a break was when he got light-headed from trying to help me breath and when the put in my epidural.
I was really surprised my dad stayed through the whole thing. The only time he left was when I was getting into a new gown after the bath and shower and when I was getting my cervix checked. I threw up several times throughout. I guess that was just the way things were going to be, vomit at the beginning and at the end.
Sometime in-between 6 and 10 centimeters I decided I needed an epidural. I had tried the IV pain killer and that hadn't really done much. If I had known how long it was going to take to get everything ready I would have asked for one sooner. It took about a 1/2 hour to push the IV fluids and get Dr. Demaster there and set up. Just as he was finishing up I felt the urge to push so they checked me again and I was complete. But Dr. Neeld decided to let me rest for a while before backing off the meds and letting me push. That was good because it would have taken a lot longer if he hadn't let me do that. After I started I pushed for about 20 minutes and there he was! My beautiful boy!
Now we are home and it has been interesting. On Tuesday night, the first night at home I had a bit of a breakdown. But Evan and Keauri were here and helped and now we are doing okay. I am still learning how to breast-feed right and we are trying to get him to sleep more at night and less during the day. Last night was an experience. We had a bat fly into our room. I think the cat caught it and brought it in and then let it go. Evan got it out the back door early this morning when he got up for work.
He has been growing and changing so much and he is only about 2 weeks old! Evan is going to take next week off as a friend from out of state is coming in for a visit. It will be lots of fun! But I hear Liam getting ready to wake up so I should go and see if he is hungry. Also, fix myself some lunch while I have the chance.
Friday, May 1, 2009
biding my time
So, I am now officially in the waiting period of my pregnancy. I moved to my parents' house yesterday sans Evan. He will be following me on Saturday or Sunday barring a miracle (AKA I go into labor before then) and will commute to work from here until Liam is born.
Last night sucked. I was already kind of mad because the doctor told me that I was not anywhere near delivery and he also said that he couldn't tell me if Liam had dropped (basically my understanding of this is the baby moves lower in your pelvis and you can breath better and it means (with a first baby) typically that you will deliver within two weeks) because he didn't really know what the term meant and he said there was no correlation between "dropping" and when you deliver. BAH!
Anyway, so then of course I had to spend the night without Evan and that also sucked. I have only been away from him for a night a couple of times since we have been married and this will be...like 4 days and 3 nights without him. I don't know how healthy it is going to be for me if they are all like last night, I couldn't get comfortable until like 10PM (I went to bed at 8) and then I kept waking up to pee and would have to start the process all over again. I am sure he slept fine though which is sort of the important thing right now since he is working and has to get up and drive to work at 4AM.
I was thinking I would like to go visit my brother and sister-in-law in Salem but I don't have a car I can drive here. My parents have stick-shifts and I can barely work those things. I don't think it would be good for me to be that stressed. I suppose there is a possibility I could borrow my grandma's car but I don't think I want to deal with that whole thing...
It is turning into a really nice day and exercise is suppose to be good for getting things moving delivery-wise so I may walk down to my sister-in-law's work and say hi. I am feeling very apathetic lately and I need to work on forcing myself out of the rut.
I wonder how my dog was without me...he did have Evan there though so he probably was just fine. Maybe he will lose a little weight since I won't be there to give him treats (I am a pushover with dogs). Though he isn't really overweight he is just a brick of muscle, which means it is kind of hard for me to walk him right now with my balance all off. He is fine going from the house to the pen in the yard but we can't go anywhere else unless Evan is walking him. Hopefully that will get better after Liam is born...because we will want to take walks with the stroller and it would be bad if he was yanking me and the stroller around...Of course Liam being Evan's son he will probably love it, like an amusement park ride.
Well, I think I am going to get some lunch and then I will maybe take that walk...
Last night sucked. I was already kind of mad because the doctor told me that I was not anywhere near delivery and he also said that he couldn't tell me if Liam had dropped (basically my understanding of this is the baby moves lower in your pelvis and you can breath better and it means (with a first baby) typically that you will deliver within two weeks) because he didn't really know what the term meant and he said there was no correlation between "dropping" and when you deliver. BAH!
Anyway, so then of course I had to spend the night without Evan and that also sucked. I have only been away from him for a night a couple of times since we have been married and this will be...like 4 days and 3 nights without him. I don't know how healthy it is going to be for me if they are all like last night, I couldn't get comfortable until like 10PM (I went to bed at 8) and then I kept waking up to pee and would have to start the process all over again. I am sure he slept fine though which is sort of the important thing right now since he is working and has to get up and drive to work at 4AM.
I was thinking I would like to go visit my brother and sister-in-law in Salem but I don't have a car I can drive here. My parents have stick-shifts and I can barely work those things. I don't think it would be good for me to be that stressed. I suppose there is a possibility I could borrow my grandma's car but I don't think I want to deal with that whole thing...
It is turning into a really nice day and exercise is suppose to be good for getting things moving delivery-wise so I may walk down to my sister-in-law's work and say hi. I am feeling very apathetic lately and I need to work on forcing myself out of the rut.
I wonder how my dog was without me...he did have Evan there though so he probably was just fine. Maybe he will lose a little weight since I won't be there to give him treats (I am a pushover with dogs). Though he isn't really overweight he is just a brick of muscle, which means it is kind of hard for me to walk him right now with my balance all off. He is fine going from the house to the pen in the yard but we can't go anywhere else unless Evan is walking him. Hopefully that will get better after Liam is born...because we will want to take walks with the stroller and it would be bad if he was yanking me and the stroller around...Of course Liam being Evan's son he will probably love it, like an amusement park ride.
Well, I think I am going to get some lunch and then I will maybe take that walk...
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Still pregnant...
I am officially at 37 weeks today. I am "in the zone" as they say...that is I am full-term even though it will be another 3 weeks before any intervention will be considered if I don't go into labor before then...
I am so over being pregnant. I hate the constant acid in my throat, not being able to sleep, wierd aches and pains, being tired practically all the time...I especially am tired of people telling me how tiny I am.
Look just because I didn't use my pregnancy as an excuse to sit on my butt and eat whatever I want and gain 60 pounds or whatever, doesn't mean there is anything wrong with me or my baby...back off! The fact that I was able to keep down food successfully is a big deal okay? The only good thing that has come from me being smaller is that it seems to have detered the belly gropers which is nice.
My mom came over last week and helped me get some things organized and she is coming back next week Monday thru Wednesday and then (provided I don't go into labor between now and then) I will go to McMinnville with her. I am a little nervous about living with my parents again. Hopefully it won't be for the whole two weeks we are planning on. Don't get me wrong. I love my parents, but you know the quote "you can never go home again"? Well, that is kind of true. After living away from home for several years now it is not exactly the most comfortable place to be for extended periods of time. Not that they will try to control like when I go to bed or something...not that it will really be an issue as I am pretty much exhausted by this time (9:30) at night anyway. It's hard to explain but...anyway...
I have stopped working so I have nothing much else to write about. My whole life is basically doing housework and watching movies or reading, waiting for Evan to get home. Sounds depressing I guess but I know soon enough it will be filled with many other things, which will be equally boring to most people...but I will blog about them nonetheless. Liam's first smile, grabbing things, giggling at himself in the mirror, whatever. I think one thing I am truely looking forward to is seeing Evan develop as a dad. He is so excited...
Anyway, I really am tired and so I am going to try and sleep. Evan is over at Justin's watching Sweeny Todd. I could only watch that once and I regret doing that...so I am here...
I am so over being pregnant. I hate the constant acid in my throat, not being able to sleep, wierd aches and pains, being tired practically all the time...I especially am tired of people telling me how tiny I am.
Look just because I didn't use my pregnancy as an excuse to sit on my butt and eat whatever I want and gain 60 pounds or whatever, doesn't mean there is anything wrong with me or my baby...back off! The fact that I was able to keep down food successfully is a big deal okay? The only good thing that has come from me being smaller is that it seems to have detered the belly gropers which is nice.
My mom came over last week and helped me get some things organized and she is coming back next week Monday thru Wednesday and then (provided I don't go into labor between now and then) I will go to McMinnville with her. I am a little nervous about living with my parents again. Hopefully it won't be for the whole two weeks we are planning on. Don't get me wrong. I love my parents, but you know the quote "you can never go home again"? Well, that is kind of true. After living away from home for several years now it is not exactly the most comfortable place to be for extended periods of time. Not that they will try to control like when I go to bed or something...not that it will really be an issue as I am pretty much exhausted by this time (9:30) at night anyway. It's hard to explain but...anyway...
I have stopped working so I have nothing much else to write about. My whole life is basically doing housework and watching movies or reading, waiting for Evan to get home. Sounds depressing I guess but I know soon enough it will be filled with many other things, which will be equally boring to most people...but I will blog about them nonetheless. Liam's first smile, grabbing things, giggling at himself in the mirror, whatever. I think one thing I am truely looking forward to is seeing Evan develop as a dad. He is so excited...
Anyway, I really am tired and so I am going to try and sleep. Evan is over at Justin's watching Sweeny Todd. I could only watch that once and I regret doing that...so I am here...
Monday, April 6, 2009
little scare...welcome to the weekend
So, Liam wasn't moving very well for a few days (which probably wasn't even a noticeable difference under normal circumstances, but he has been so active since I started to feel him kick a few months ago I think I am overly sensitive to any change) and I was experiencing some abdominal pain so we called my doc and he told us to get it checked out. I even drank a soda to try and get him to move, which usually works fairly quickly. Nothing...
I cried and had a minor break-down after they told me to come in. I guess just hadn't really thought through the implications that would come racing through my mind if they actually told me to come in...Serves me right I suppose having said only the day before to Evan, "You know if I call, they will probably just be like, 'well you can come in if you want...' but I don't want the choice to be up to me. I want them to say 'Yes come in' or 'He is probably fine, no need to come in unless, A, B, or C happens'." SO...
Journey to St. Vincent's we did and after being hooked up to the fetal monitor of course he starts to move. His heartbeat is exactly where it normally is and they don't even pick up any contractions or anything. Welcome to the weekend. Great way to spend a Friday, but as the nurse said, and as Evan reassured me, it was the right thing to do.
Saturday and Sunday were much better days. Saturday it was a lovely breezy but sunny day and Evan wanted to get out of the house. So after a lesuirely breakfast we packed dog and food into the car and went off down the road. We stopped at an elk preserve and a pretty, tiny park with a waterfall. Then we discovered we were only about 20 miles from Astoria and Evan wanted to drive so we went to Astoria, got subway and walked around a little. Then we drove back and watched several episodes of Top Gear on his parents' DVR.
Sunday (today) we went to church, then we went and bought storage bins for Liam's clothes and our stuff that has been driving me crazy for months! YEA! I am hoping to have our room clean by the time Evan gets home from work tomorrow. We then had his parents over for the first BBQ of the season. YUM! It was a BEAUTIFUL day.
In other news I have discovered I have gained 5 lbs. Which is good I guess, since I hadn't gained anything for like a month and 1/2 and people were beginning to be concerned (mainly my parents). I have a doc appointment on the 13th and then I go once a week since I will be in 35th week this week...which means in a couple more weeks I will be FULL TERM! EEK! and Liam could come any day. I will be moving down to my parents' house like around the 25th.
Evan will come down with me after a few days. He is probably going to finish painting the interiors of the house. I am not suppose to know...his mom offered to do it as a surprise. I don't know if he decided not to try and keep it a secret or what but I didn't really need to pry to get it out of him...I think he figured it would be too hard to have to try and come up with a reason why he was staying a few extra days at the house when I went down the Mac. Also, as much as I love Debbie, Evan really needs to be here to do the paint with her, cuz she gets impatient with things like painting and the walls end up less than perfect which doesn't bother her but would drive Evan and me nuts. So...we will see. Now I am working on fighting insomnia. I guess I will try and read for a little while and see if that helps. I am glad I am not working tomorrow. Only 3 more weeks of that too...wow.
I cried and had a minor break-down after they told me to come in. I guess just hadn't really thought through the implications that would come racing through my mind if they actually told me to come in...Serves me right I suppose having said only the day before to Evan, "You know if I call, they will probably just be like, 'well you can come in if you want...' but I don't want the choice to be up to me. I want them to say 'Yes come in' or 'He is probably fine, no need to come in unless, A, B, or C happens'." SO...
Journey to St. Vincent's we did and after being hooked up to the fetal monitor of course he starts to move. His heartbeat is exactly where it normally is and they don't even pick up any contractions or anything. Welcome to the weekend. Great way to spend a Friday, but as the nurse said, and as Evan reassured me, it was the right thing to do.
Saturday and Sunday were much better days. Saturday it was a lovely breezy but sunny day and Evan wanted to get out of the house. So after a lesuirely breakfast we packed dog and food into the car and went off down the road. We stopped at an elk preserve and a pretty, tiny park with a waterfall. Then we discovered we were only about 20 miles from Astoria and Evan wanted to drive so we went to Astoria, got subway and walked around a little. Then we drove back and watched several episodes of Top Gear on his parents' DVR.
Sunday (today) we went to church, then we went and bought storage bins for Liam's clothes and our stuff that has been driving me crazy for months! YEA! I am hoping to have our room clean by the time Evan gets home from work tomorrow. We then had his parents over for the first BBQ of the season. YUM! It was a BEAUTIFUL day.
In other news I have discovered I have gained 5 lbs. Which is good I guess, since I hadn't gained anything for like a month and 1/2 and people were beginning to be concerned (mainly my parents). I have a doc appointment on the 13th and then I go once a week since I will be in 35th week this week...which means in a couple more weeks I will be FULL TERM! EEK! and Liam could come any day. I will be moving down to my parents' house like around the 25th.
Evan will come down with me after a few days. He is probably going to finish painting the interiors of the house. I am not suppose to know...his mom offered to do it as a surprise. I don't know if he decided not to try and keep it a secret or what but I didn't really need to pry to get it out of him...I think he figured it would be too hard to have to try and come up with a reason why he was staying a few extra days at the house when I went down the Mac. Also, as much as I love Debbie, Evan really needs to be here to do the paint with her, cuz she gets impatient with things like painting and the walls end up less than perfect which doesn't bother her but would drive Evan and me nuts. So...we will see. Now I am working on fighting insomnia. I guess I will try and read for a little while and see if that helps. I am glad I am not working tomorrow. Only 3 more weeks of that too...wow.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
inching ever closer...
On Friday I will be 34 weeks...which means another 3 weeks and Liam will technically be full term. It also means that if he were to be born now by some fluke he would be fine...he would have to spend a little time in the neonatal unit but mostly he would be okay. Which makes me feel better especially because for the last couple of days a few funny things have happened that have made me a little nervous, but I think everything is really okay. I think he must be in the process of turning because I have had a lot of pressure on my pelvic bone and he has been moving a little less than normal. I have come to the conclusion he is going into lockdown.
My boss is finally posting for my replacement. I told him that I was going to make the week of the 20th my last week so he better get his butt in gear. Well, I really only told him the first part. He has been in serious denial that I am quiting but it is really getting to be a lot of effort for me to work all day with how early we have to get up to be there and also I am just really tired again. Liam has grown so much that I am once again very uncomfortable at night and have to get up to pee a lot. After Evan pays bills this week we are going in (probably next week) to babies-r-us and getting what we didn't get for our showers. Which is not a whole lot thankfully. Plus, the most expensive thing (the car seat/stroller set) we found on craigslist for over 50% less! I was so excited, it was even the color and everything that I wanted.
Anyway, I have worked the last three days in a row and am pretty beat. I think I am going to do to bed.
My boss is finally posting for my replacement. I told him that I was going to make the week of the 20th my last week so he better get his butt in gear. Well, I really only told him the first part. He has been in serious denial that I am quiting but it is really getting to be a lot of effort for me to work all day with how early we have to get up to be there and also I am just really tired again. Liam has grown so much that I am once again very uncomfortable at night and have to get up to pee a lot. After Evan pays bills this week we are going in (probably next week) to babies-r-us and getting what we didn't get for our showers. Which is not a whole lot thankfully. Plus, the most expensive thing (the car seat/stroller set) we found on craigslist for over 50% less! I was so excited, it was even the color and everything that I wanted.
Anyway, I have worked the last three days in a row and am pretty beat. I think I am going to do to bed.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
frustration...
So, I am really frustrated with Evan...but I think that he is just the target of everything because, well I guess there is a bunch of stuff that is somewhat related to him and are, in general, idiotic things that are irriating me. At the moment if Evan came home I would probably scream at him about all these things and then feel horrible because basically they are not his fault. Also, Evan has been working A TON...
There is:
The toilet that gets clogged every other day...
The garbage has not been taken to the curb (Evan's job) for two weeks now because I cannot remember to tell him and he doesn't bother to remember.
The ladder out back that I banged my knee on while taking out the dog
The dog hates to put on his harness because of the stupid spikes Evan put on it, but I have to put it on because I can't carry him anymore, so I have to struggle with him everytime I do.
My own body feels like crap all the time, maybe because of the mattress, maybe because of the food I am eating, or not eating, maybe because of not taking my meds as regularly as I should...
I am only writing this all out in the hopes that by the time Evan gets home I won't be so upset.
There is:
The toilet that gets clogged every other day...
The garbage has not been taken to the curb (Evan's job) for two weeks now because I cannot remember to tell him and he doesn't bother to remember.
The ladder out back that I banged my knee on while taking out the dog
The dog hates to put on his harness because of the stupid spikes Evan put on it, but I have to put it on because I can't carry him anymore, so I have to struggle with him everytime I do.
My own body feels like crap all the time, maybe because of the mattress, maybe because of the food I am eating, or not eating, maybe because of not taking my meds as regularly as I should...
I am only writing this all out in the hopes that by the time Evan gets home I won't be so upset.
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