Still pregnant...

I am officially at 37 weeks today. I am "in the zone" as they say...that is I am full-term even though it will be another 3 weeks before any intervention will be considered if I don't go into labor before then...

I am so over being pregnant. I hate the constant acid in my throat, not being able to sleep, wierd aches and pains, being tired practically all the time...I especially am tired of people telling me how tiny I am.

Look just because I didn't use my pregnancy as an excuse to sit on my butt and eat whatever I want and gain 60 pounds or whatever, doesn't mean there is anything wrong with me or my baby...back off! The fact that I was able to keep down food successfully is a big deal okay? The only good thing that has come from me being smaller is that it seems to have detered the belly gropers which is nice.

My mom came over last week and helped me get some things organized and she is coming back next week Monday thru Wednesday and then (provided I don't go into labor between now and then) I will go to McMinnville with her. I am a little nervous about living with my parents again. Hopefully it won't be for the whole two weeks we are planning on. Don't get me wrong. I love my parents, but you know the quote "you can never go home again"? Well, that is kind of true. After living away from home for several years now it is not exactly the most comfortable place to be for extended periods of time. Not that they will try to control like when I go to bed or something...not that it will really be an issue as I am pretty much exhausted by this time (9:30) at night anyway. It's hard to explain but...anyway...

I have stopped working so I have nothing much else to write about. My whole life is basically doing housework and watching movies or reading, waiting for Evan to get home. Sounds depressing I guess but I know soon enough it will be filled with many other things, which will be equally boring to most people...but I will blog about them nonetheless. Liam's first smile, grabbing things, giggling at himself in the mirror, whatever. I think one thing I am truely looking forward to is seeing Evan develop as a dad. He is so excited...

Anyway, I really am tired and so I am going to try and sleep. Evan is over at Justin's watching Sweeny Todd. I could only watch that once and I regret doing that...so I am here...

little scare...welcome to the weekend

So, Liam wasn't moving very well for a few days (which probably wasn't even a noticeable difference under normal circumstances, but he has been so active since I started to feel him kick a few months ago I think I am overly sensitive to any change) and I was experiencing some abdominal pain so we called my doc and he told us to get it checked out. I even drank a soda to try and get him to move, which usually works fairly quickly. Nothing...

I cried and had a minor break-down after they told me to come in. I guess just hadn't really thought through the implications that would come racing through my mind if they actually told me to come in...Serves me right I suppose having said only the day before to Evan, "You know if I call, they will probably just be like, 'well you can come in if you want...' but I don't want the choice to be up to me. I want them to say 'Yes come in' or 'He is probably fine, no need to come in unless, A, B, or C happens'." SO...

Journey to St. Vincent's we did and after being hooked up to the fetal monitor of course he starts to move. His heartbeat is exactly where it normally is and they don't even pick up any contractions or anything. Welcome to the weekend. Great way to spend a Friday, but as the nurse said, and as Evan reassured me, it was the right thing to do.

Saturday and Sunday were much better days. Saturday it was a lovely breezy but sunny day and Evan wanted to get out of the house. So after a lesuirely breakfast we packed dog and food into the car and went off down the road. We stopped at an elk preserve and a pretty, tiny park with a waterfall. Then we discovered we were only about 20 miles from Astoria and Evan wanted to drive so we went to Astoria, got subway and walked around a little. Then we drove back and watched several episodes of Top Gear on his parents' DVR.

Sunday (today) we went to church, then we went and bought storage bins for Liam's clothes and our stuff that has been driving me crazy for months! YEA! I am hoping to have our room clean by the time Evan gets home from work tomorrow. We then had his parents over for the first BBQ of the season. YUM! It was a BEAUTIFUL day.

In other news I have discovered I have gained 5 lbs. Which is good I guess, since I hadn't gained anything for like a month and 1/2 and people were beginning to be concerned (mainly my parents). I have a doc appointment on the 13th and then I go once a week since I will be in 35th week this week...which means in a couple more weeks I will be FULL TERM! EEK! and Liam could come any day. I will be moving down to my parents' house like around the 25th.

Evan will come down with me after a few days. He is probably going to finish painting the interiors of the house. I am not suppose to know...his mom offered to do it as a surprise. I don't know if he decided not to try and keep it a secret or what but I didn't really need to pry to get it out of him...I think he figured it would be too hard to have to try and come up with a reason why he was staying a few extra days at the house when I went down the Mac. Also, as much as I love Debbie, Evan really needs to be here to do the paint with her, cuz she gets impatient with things like painting and the walls end up less than perfect which doesn't bother her but would drive Evan and me nuts. So...we will see. Now I am working on fighting insomnia. I guess I will try and read for a little while and see if that helps. I am glad I am not working tomorrow. Only 3 more weeks of that too...wow.

inching ever closer...

On Friday I will be 34 weeks...which means another 3 weeks and Liam will technically be full term. It also means that if he were to be born now by some fluke he would be fine...he would have to spend a little time in the neonatal unit but mostly he would be okay. Which makes me feel better especially because for the last couple of days a few funny things have happened that have made me a little nervous, but I think everything is really okay. I think he must be in the process of turning because I have had a lot of pressure on my pelvic bone and he has been moving a little less than normal. I have come to the conclusion he is going into lockdown.

My boss is finally posting for my replacement. I told him that I was going to make the week of the 20th my last week so he better get his butt in gear. Well, I really only told him the first part. He has been in serious denial that I am quiting but it is really getting to be a lot of effort for me to work all day with how early we have to get up to be there and also I am just really tired again. Liam has grown so much that I am once again very uncomfortable at night and have to get up to pee a lot. After Evan pays bills this week we are going in (probably next week) to babies-r-us and getting what we didn't get for our showers. Which is not a whole lot thankfully. Plus, the most expensive thing (the car seat/stroller set) we found on craigslist for over 50% less! I was so excited, it was even the color and everything that I wanted.
Anyway, I have worked the last three days in a row and am pretty beat. I think I am going to do to bed.

frustration...

So, I am really frustrated with Evan...but I think that he is just the target of everything because, well I guess there is a bunch of stuff that is somewhat related to him and are, in general, idiotic things that are irriating me. At the moment if Evan came home I would probably scream at him about all these things and then feel horrible because basically they are not his fault. Also, Evan has been working A TON...

There is:
The toilet that gets clogged every other day...
The garbage has not been taken to the curb (Evan's job) for two weeks now because I cannot remember to tell him and he doesn't bother to remember.
The ladder out back that I banged my knee on while taking out the dog
The dog hates to put on his harness because of the stupid spikes Evan put on it, but I have to put it on because I can't carry him anymore, so I have to struggle with him everytime I do.
My own body feels like crap all the time, maybe because of the mattress, maybe because of the food I am eating, or not eating, maybe because of not taking my meds as regularly as I should...

I am only writing this all out in the hopes that by the time Evan gets home I won't be so upset.

Down to two months...

Work has been picking up (three days a week instead of two) which is good. Evan has been scheduled for some overtime which means he will be sleeping on his off days...so not much facetime for us but, you do what you gotta do. He will hopefully be able to take a few days off when Liam is born. Or maybe he will wait and take off the week when our friend Kristin will be in town (the last week of May). Or maybe he can do half and half. Anyway...I look forward to seeing him discover the joys and complexities of being a daddy.

On Saturday we went to McMinnville for our birthing class. It was interesting, it made me feel a little better about some things (like epidurals) that I wasn't really sure about. Also, I got a refresher of how the system works...like when you get moved from room to room, how long a typical hospital stay is after the baby is born and all that. I even got some new ideas on what might work to help me get through labor. It was kind of funny getting to the class though, there was a mix-up with communication between the lady who scheduled the classes and the lady who taught and we ended up being the only people in the class! I guess for $105 a private class is worth it. But I felt kind of bad for the instructor having to come in on a day off...but then she gets paid I guess.

We have fallen behind of my goals of getting the house painted. I have modified the goal and now I just want to at least get Liam's room done by the end of April. Maybe the hallway if we are lucky. And if we get the kitchen/living room done than bully for us! My mom and I made plans for her to come and help me at the end of April before we move down there for waiting for Liam to arrive. She is going to help me organize the house a little better (mainly Liam's room and the files since we just got a filing cabinet finally!) before Liam arrives. I will also probably do my belly cast around then since I don't think I will get much bigger in-between the end of April and May 11th and I don't want to miss the oportunity. I mean I can't see myself going. "Oh crap I think I am having contractions, quick do the belly cast before my water breaks!"

The house is still kind of a mess from the shower, which was loads of fun, but I am taking it slow to get it all cleaned up. It helps Evan is very patient with living in such chaos (at least to me). We are just finishing off all the left-overs. Of course Debbie made too much food, but then she always does and that is okay because Evan loves left-overs in his lunch and I just have to throw stuff into bags or tupperware and it's done.

The sun is finally coming out again (though the forcast says rain this weekend) I am ready to be able to start hanging my washing on the line outside and basking in the summer sun. It will be great when Liam is born. I will be able to take his pack and play out or his swing and just hang out reading, playing with him and Winston or working in the yard. And we will get lots of time in the sun (with proper protection of course) and it will be wonderful. I am also looking forward to camping, boating, going to the beach, all the fun summer activities which will be so new and exciting to Liam. We are planning on going up to my parents' place in Washington for 4th of July which will be super fun with the fireworks! Anyway, my shoulders are starting to hurt from all this typing and I probably should go rescue Winston from the backyard. Evan will be home in about an hour and maybe we will go for a walk around the lake.

Snow again!

Garg...I was suppose to work today. It started snowing again last night and this morning we had three inches at our house. Evan couldn't get the car down the hill so he called his brother (who we were suppose to pick up) and asked if he needed to go...apparently he did so Evan walked down our hill to meet him (Justin also has chains for his car.) . I did not go because Evan decided that he didn't want me driving down I-5 to MY job if it was hazardous at all and even if it wasn't he thought it was a "unnecessary risk" for me to be in the car on 47 (our very twisty main road out) down to the highway.

Sort of sweet how he protects me like that...course it shoud be pointed out that if I wasn't pregnant with his son, he might not be quite so protective...but maybe not, maybe he would have said the same thing.

I kind of am mad I don't get to work though. On the other hand I slept pretty badly last night, I am losing my voice, my cough is getting worse and I have a very full weekend. So perhaps it is best that I didn't. I am trying to decide whether I will try and accomplish anything today or not. With the way I feel at the moment I sort of just want to spend the day curling up with my fuzzy robe, a cup of tea, a book and movies. Blah...but I still have mopping in the kitchen and living room, cleaning the bathroom, and cleaning our room to do before my baby shower on Sunday.

In the meantime, something a little less mundane...I keep having very weird, very vivid dreams. Which I think is more disturbing to my sleep than the having to get up and pee every few hours...of course it could be both.

getting closer...

Yesterday we got a crib for free from craigslist! Yea! I am quite excited because it is the first piece of major baby furniture we have gotten so far. I also bought a couple pairs of slip on shoes because it is getting difficult to bend over and tie tennis shoes.

I feel like I am almost ready for Liam to be born. Even though he has two and 1/2 more months to go before he is fully baked. I am getting very impatient, I have gained about 10 pounds and I am wondering how much more I am going to gain. I get tired really fast and all the muscles and tendons around my belly are stretching and driving me nuts. People keep telling me how good I look and how tiny I am but I feel big and lumbering. Oh well...

I will have my first shower this coming weekend and then we can totally start outfiting the nursery. That will be so thrilling...I will be able to go in and look at the crib and fold and refold and organize and reorganize his clothes and blankets. Rearrange all the toys...It will be SOOO fun!
But for now, it is a nice day outside and so Evan and I are going to the park to take pitcures and play with the dog before painting the hallway. We will have our bedroom and the hallway done for the shower, but not the nursery or the living room/kitchen or bathroom yet. We will do the nursery in March and HOPEFULLY the living room/kitchen in April. No idea when the bathroom will get done....sort of low priority right now...